What Hojo Gave Me
by yukiislikesnow
Summary: My son, words I thought I'd never say. But there he is, looking just like me, only with black hair. Slowly our pain will die away because my son is the best thing Hojo ever gave me.
1. Prolouge of the day:

What Hojo Gave Me

Disclaimer: The only think I own in this story is Toi so don't sue…not that you'd get much anyways….

Well this is my own story where Cloud finds out he has a son, hidden from him by Hojo. How Hojo got the semen? You figure it out, I'll leave it to your imagination for now, mine certainly has been having fun w/ that thought.

I hope you like the little guy but this story can or cannot be a one-shot. It all depends on your reviews.

.o0()0o.

The sun had just started streaming through the windows. It warmed my bed but I still didn't want to wake up. Soft footsteps made their way to my bedside, the direction my face was lying. The presence stood there, quietly, not knowing that I was already awake. I let him think that for a moment longer, still not ready to face the morning sun. I heard him shifting, so he could lie on the bed and after feeling his head hit the pillows I opened my eyes too.

He was startled to say the least. The little boy that settled down beside me was mine. He had the same style hair only it was jet black, the same striking blue eyes, the slight figure, and even the same fair skin. "G'morning." The small boys lips turned up for a minute in reply. Even at three he had trouble speaking.

Hojo wanted another 'project', something else he could examine from birth. And there I was, lying on his examination table being pumped full of Leviathan knows what. He used my DNA and put it in one of his assistants. I'm still not sure whom and I hope beyond everything else he won't ask me who she was or why it took me so long to save him from Hojo. I wasn't even aware I had a child until after I killed Sephiroth the second time.

Avalanche needed to go back, to look at where they came from all those years ago. It lead me back to Nibheliem (sp?), back to Shinra Mansion and into a small room hidden behind a bookshelf. I found him just like I did Vincent. But he was so young, only three. In bits and pieces Vincent had told me what it was like to be stuck in a coffin with only his thoughts to keep him company.

I've been too afraid to ask him what he thought about while in that coffin. He knew nothing of the world except Hojo's cruelness and his lab; at least Vincent had a life to look back on. Toi had nothing.

That was his name, the first word he had ever spoken in his five years of life, two of them spent in suspended animation. It was a sick joke, not that I'd ever tell him, I love him too much for that. To Hojo all Toi would ever be was a toy, so he named him as such. I drew him closer to me and he accepted the gesture. Immediately he buried his nose in my chest as I turned to lie on my back. He hated being separated from me. We even slept in the same bed. He had probably only left because of a dire need to pee.

I stroked his hair and recalled the first time we met. It would have been funny under different circumstances.

I walked slowly around the lab of Shinra mansion, looking for any document retaining to my…torture. Vincent stood idly by his old tomb and stared at the polished surface as though it held all the answers he needed.

**Why Lucietta died, why Hojo had tormented him, and whatever else his tortured soul was plagued with. I was about to end my search until a draft shifted past my legs. It came from behind a large bookshelf, I let my curiosity get the best of me and I tried moving it. It was lighter than I thought it would be and after I recovered from my stumble I was faced with a small room. It looked as much as a dungeon as everything else down here but I entered anyway.**

**A small black coffin was the only thing in the room. I felt rather than heard Vincent's presence behind me as I inched towards the coffin. The ex-Turk held his breath as my fingers gripped the cool ledge and tugged it open.**

**A small boy, looking no older than three, opened his eyes…and panicked. He drew his knees to his chin and scooted back as far as he could while still in the coffin, whimpering and shivering the whole time. It was Vincent who noticed the resemblance first and him who noticed the name etched in the lid of the casket.**

**It said 'Strife', nothing more, nothing less, just Strife. "Cloud…" My eyes turned from the small child and landed on the lid. It scared me, more than Sephiroth, more than losing Aerith completely or any of my other friends. It was about that time that the boy had snuck out of the casket and began edging towards the door, backwards. He was wary, and because he had lived with Hojo I didn't question why. He kept backing up until he bumped into Cid.**

"**Oh hey there lil' guy. Where'd you two find this one?" He reached around to the stock-still toddlers face, to pat it. As soon as his fingers made contact with the skin the boy opened his mouth and sunk vampire-like teeth into the pilots' hand and drew blood. A string of curses issued forth and he ran yet again. Only this time the boy ran to me.**

From there I remember asking him his name and getting the shaky response. It was hard to explain why I had come back with a small child clinging desperately to my body but I got it done. Vincent went back later to find paperwork on what happened. It wasn't pretty, and still, after months of knowing about his past, I can't bring myself to read those files. Instead I rely on what the others tell me. Toi is my son and even though I knew nothing of him for the majority of his short life I still felt an undeniable bond. It would crush me beyond anything I have ever felt before to actually read first hand what had happened to my baby boy.

It had only been a few minutes since Toi had joined me in bed again when I felt nature call as well. I sat up slowly, tugging him along. It was a daily routine we had worked out. I would take him with me everywhere in the house, hardly ever losing contact with his fair skin. He sat outside the bathroom door as I occupied it then swiftly took my hand as I exited. He was very shy and still new to everything.

His first glimpse of my motorcycle had him cowering behind me, clutching my thigh painfully. That too would've been funny if his nails hadn't left small marks. I made him breakfast in our small little kitchen. I had moved away from Tifa shortly after I got Toi. Marlene went back with Barret and that left Denzel with Tifa in the Seventh Heaven bar. I would have felt bad for leaving if Rude hadn't taken up the opportunity to move right in.

After a very hardy night of drinking, Turks and Avalanche alike, they admitted feelings for each other and have been inseparable ever since. I laughed at the thought and gained an odd look from my son. My son, something I thought I'd never say. He was still shy, all too happy to just sit in my presence and the occasional presence of Vincent as well. He still bit people too. His first encounter with Marlene went similar to his meeting with Cid. She ran up to him saying something like 'so cute' before wrapping her arms around him. He swiftly bit her upper arm until he felt blood and let her to cry as he shot away from her to in between my legs.

We ate in silence, something neither of us were uncomfortable with. Afterwards I cleaned up with Toi's arms wrapped firmly around my waist. He looked happy. Just the thought that I could make him happy melted some ice from my heart. It made me want to open up more, just for him, to show an example that not the entire world is bad. But before I could show him that it was okay to open up to the world and the risk of being hurt was worth the reward, I would have to learn that myself.

Hardly anyone liked me growing up and those that did were hurt or torn from me in the form of death. Now as the savior of the world twice over I had to learn to be more sociable.

With dishes done we moved on to another activity. I turned on a small Wutainese radio, Yuffie's parting gift, and let the music flow around the room. I was unfamiliar with the language but the sound was soothing, and it was nice to just enjoy something without having to think about it. Toi pulled a board game out from under the couch and began setting up. He loved this game. It was just some knock-off board game from my hometown that was hardly played anywhere else. I often played it with Tifa, and Vincent too when he felt like being around someone doing something quiet.

The object of the game was simple; just get your man from the top of Mt. Nibel to the opposite edge of the town before the other players. Along the way you encountered townspeople that held you back or helped you and monsters. On occasion you would pull a card like 'forgot canteen on mountain top, go back and retrieve it.'

Neither Toi nor myself were sore losers so it wasn't a major disappointment to either of us if we got sent back to start. For the most part out life was quiet but I far from minded. In time he would speak like a normal child, but until then I would revel in the small, stuttering words of my son when he could manage them, and the deep silences inbetween.

He was my son.

He was my new reason for life.

He is what Hojo gave me.

The only thing Hojo gave me that I would die to keep.

.o0()0o.

Well I can be a one-shot or it can be more. If you want more it'll lead into a Cloud/Vincent thing w/ Toi as the basis of their relationship. He just seemed so cute in my head when I thought him up and I could help but put him into words.

I really shouldn't start another story but I couldn't help it. I'm itching to write more but I can leave it as is if it seems okay at this spot.


	2. Selfish

Vincent called me today. That man is not one for phones but then again, neither was I. He said he would come by today, mainly to see me and Toi, but he would visit the others as well. My son seemed excited about the news but it's still hard to tell. He was so withdrawn it was hard to know anything about him.

It was a challenge I willingly accepted. Getting to know him, making him happy, those were things I would do to try and ease some of my own quilt. I'm not sure if that makes me selfish or not. But is it really selfish of me to want Toi to be happy? By doing so much for him now I'm trying to make him forget the time when I wasn't there. At this point though I don't really care about being selfish. I have my son, he has me, and hopefully…one day, I'll have Vincent Valentine too. I feel a pang of quilt and pain when I think of that.

Toi had been through hell and back and all I often found myself thinking of Vincent after catching sight of his hair. It was black, and Toi was stuck in a coffin under suspended animation, that counts for something? No, I guess it doesn't, Vincent is a man and so am I. That leaves no reasonable explanation for me to give Toi. His life had begun on broken roads; I didn't need my love for another man to make it worse.

Right now he's playing with a moogle doll. Its old, something of Marlene's actually. She had given it to him just to prove she forgave him. The look in his eyes at that moment brought a smile to my face. He looked content, but not just that, he looked like a normal three year old. "Toi, Vincent will be here soon, do you want to take a nap first?" My son nodded and lifted himself off the floor and into my arms. I carried him over to radio, which he turned off for me, then to the couch and we laid down on it. He was snuggled firmly on top of me, his ear pressed against my chest, right where my heart was. I don't know how long I just let myself lie there and stroke his soft locks while he slept but eventually I feel asleep too.

I woke in the most pleasant of ways. Vincent was looming over me, his face mere inches from my own. "Cloud…" I took a deep breath and tore my eyes away from my…crush…to look back at my still slumbering son. His breath came out in slow even measures, his face relaxed, his body rising ever so slightly each time I took a breath. He was the cutest thing I had ever laid my eyes on. Vincent wasn't offended by my lack of response, or the fact that I was inadvertently ignoring him; instead he took a seat in my worn out relaxing chair.

"He was happy to hear you were coming." Vincent nodded and began staring at my son just as I was. He was hard to look away from, quite the adorable little boy. He had a mixed charm. It was another silly thing I thought of while he was spooned against me a night not so many days ago. He was a tad gothic looking, like Vincent, he was afraid of the world but it still had his curiosity, like me, and he looked beautiful but beneath that lays danger, like both of us. It was another way I had invented to make it seem as if Vincent was the father, I say father because I've always been so feminine even when I was acting masculine.

Toi's body shifted slightly and his eyes fluttered open. If I had closed my eyes at that moment I would see our first encounter. He brought a small hand to his mouth as he yawned and stretched above me. Even with his knees digging into my lower belly I barely felt a thing. He really was small, slightly smaller than he should be, but that was a trait the Strife's always had.

"Vincent…" Toi allowed me to kiss him on the forehead before he stumbled over to see the ex-Turk. Said man helped my son climb onto his lap before he curled up like a cat and closed his eyes again. I hadn't gotten around to sitting up yet, even though my neck was sore; I was in a lazy mood. At the moment my house just had that sluggish feel to it and it made me want to mimic my son and throw dignity to the wind.

I leaned my head to the side to watch my son, and the man he was resting on. Vincent seemed oddly at ease today. He was slouched back comfortably and was devoid of his red headband. His hair clung to his face and blocked out his eyes after he looked down to stroke Toi's hair. They really did seem to fit together. I can see it now: Vincent picking up Toi's scattered toys while I brought out something to eat and my…well in my fantasy…our son played with a moogle doll. It brought a smile to my lips and I closed my eyes to deepen the illusion. It seemed perfect, but that wasn't right. Nothing about us was perfect, far from it actually. All three of us were reject experiments made by the crazed Hojo. He had, in a way, brought us together.

I guess that's another thing Hojo gave me. He gave me a love interest. I was so wound up in my thoughts that I didn't notice Vincent's gaze had moved from my son to me. I didn't know that at the same time I was thinking of a life with him he was thinking about one with me. Right then Vincent Valentine was spinning his own fantasy that seemed, as my own was, too perfect. Or maybe it wasn't. I never really stopped to take into account that we were both men, that homosexuality could be the wrench in our lives together. I was too focused on the good in my fantasies that I saw past that…but maybe if we gave it a shot, if by some miracle, we got together maybe we could look past it in real life.

But that's me being selfish again isn't it. I don't take into account what Toi could go through or even if Vincent it gay or at least bisexual. No, I'm just caught up in my dreams like I was in SOLDIER. Zack…that was another man I dreamed about. I guess I have it hard for men with black hair. Sure Sephiroth intrigued me but he had that affect on everyone, or so I thought…still think actually. Zack was going to be my first. After he saved me from Hojo, when he was taking me away, he said something to me. I was in such a lulled state I must've appeared to be unconscious or I doubt he would've said it. The reason I remember it, I think it has something to do with that subliminal messaging thing…when a person is asleep, something like that. He told me, and I quote, "Cloud…we're going to Midgar. When we do I'll fix you up…and then I'll ask you how you feel. I love you so much Cloud…love you so much…" It made me so sad, but happy too.

For so long I loved that man in secret and then I found out he loved me too. But I never told him; I never got to tell him how I felt. Instead he died and I stole his life, and then lied to Aerith. To this day it feels as if my heart is being ripped out when I realize what I could've had with that man. And now, now I'm crying. I feel a warm tear slip from the corner of my eye onto the couch but I do nothing to stop it, or even hide that I'm crying. It just hurts too much to move. I keep crying, silently, until I feel a small hand on my cheek. "Daddy?" That makes me want to cry more, and I do. I pull him onto me again and keep crying, never wanting to let go of his lean frame.

He just holds me in return and I try to apologize. "Its okay Toi. Daddy's okay he's just not feeling well alright. I'm okay, don't be sad." I felt his nod against my chin and chest but I still wasn't convinced. I knew all to well how his mind worked, I had been in that place myself once. "Really Toi, Daddy's okay. I just…had a bad thought. Nothing to worry about okay." He nodded again and his fingers, which had previously been knotted in my shirt, relaxed. Vincent had moved over to me as well. I could feel his presence, even in my faltered state. To be truthful, I was afraid to open my eyes and face him. He never let his calm façade be broken, I did. Here I was crying over thoughts of what could have been. He would never do that…I'm almost sure that he never would.

"Little one, your father is fine, he's telling the truth." Toi had enough trust between the both of us to relax completely and forgive himself, that's what I've taken to calling it, forgiveness. Hojo's conditioning gave people delusions about themselves and what they should be blamed for. Vincent claimed he had sins to atone for, as have I, and now my precious son is following in the footsteps of two unsteady men. He sat up, still seated firmly on my lower stomach, and wiped away some of my tears. They were still issuing forth quietly, but it the new tears were far and few between. They would stop completely soon.

This boy, he's more than I think I deserve, and Vincent too. He's still next to me and for just a moment I thought he was going to reach out for my hand. Maybe it was just my selfish imagination or maybe he actually was showing concern for me. But was it deep-rooted concern or just a fleeting thought because I treated him as if he were human, not some vampire-like freak? I don't think it could be deep-rooted if he pulled away before even getting within inches of me.

"Little one, do you want to play on the patio?" I saw him nod through blurry eyes and regretfully let go of him as Vincent picked him up and lead him to the glass doors. It was a very small closed in patio, but Toi seemed to enjoy it well enough. He could venture outside of the house and still remain completely safe…well as safe as he could be in a place like this. Not to my surprise, Vincent did not stay with him; instead he sat the moogle outside and pulled out some blocks before returning to me. I sat up and stared at the carpet, not willing to look him in the eye just yet. He took a seat next to me, rather close I might add.

I knew what he would ask so I took a deep breath and began talking. "Sephiroth, he was my idol, so I joined SOLDIER to be just like him. Stupid huh? Not to me, and not to Zack either. Instead of being cruel Zack…"

.o0()0o.

Well that makes chapter two you guys. Some of you wanted it to go on and so do I. On in the future there will be lemon, I almost never write a story without it, I'm just weird like that I guess.

I really think Zack was an awesome character and I'm pulling references from Last Order (anime made about ff7) and Advent Children (the movie, duh). You might not notice the Last Order references because they're settle and all that jazz.


	3. Are You Real?

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: No I don't own it, stop rubbing it in already!

Okay chapter 3…I've been babysitting like crazy and my birthday was the 22nd of June so I've been a little busy. I hope you like it. Its longer than usual and…dramatic pause…there's LEMON!

It had been about an hour since I began explaining my life with Zack. Partly because it was a long story and partly because I had to stop several times to hold back tears. Vincent was patient with me and Toi had it in mind to stay outside until I finished. Even though my son wasn't sure why I was so upset he did recognize the name Hojo. After hearing that he stayed a safe distance away until I went to retrieve him. He gladly climbed back into my arms and tucked his head under my chin. "Hojo…Hojo here?" My eyes clamped shut and I held tighter to my son.

"No, no Toi, Hojo's not here." I felt tears building on my eyes but I held them back. I couldn't cry again, not again today. He was afraid because I mentioned Hojo. I should've just waited. Vincent was a patient man, I could've told him at night, after Toi went to sleep. It must have been obvious that I was mentally kicking myself because I felt a hand. Vincent's hand, on my lower back, surely that meant something. Either he was sympathizing with the pain of fearing Hojo or felt the need to comfort me. I hoped it was latter.

o0()0o

From there the day remained somber. Quiet as always, but somehow this day just seemed weighted, I knew in my heart that it was because of Hojo. A blind man could see how much that one man had ruined all of our lives for us but apparently even I couldn't see what was hidden in a set of blood-red eyes. Vincent loved me just the way I loved him but here we were, sitting across from each other, neither of us knowing how much we wanted to be with each other.

It seems I can't leave well enough alone either. I was about to risk our friendship to see if I could have the life I wanted so badly, a life living and loving Toi and Vincent and being loved by them. "Vincent, while Toi's asleep…I wanted to show you something." He nodded just like I knew he would and so I stood up. "We both have the scars Hojo left on our minds, we've experienced those together," I took my shirt off and laid it on the couch, "and I thought I'd show you the physical ones as well." Shiny white scars laced my body, the most prominent being the one from Sephiroth's mesumane. Vincent sowed no emotion, which hurt me. I was hoping he would show something, sadness, knowing, I was even willing to accept disgust, just not the placid face he gave me.

Little did I know that on the inside Vincent was crying. He wanted to do it.

I knew…but why him? He looks so innocent, so beautiful, nothing at all like the monster I am. Hojo will pay. But Cloud…Cloud…oh forgive me.

Vincent stood up quickly, which surprised me, and embraced me, which surprised me more. His body was pressed so tightly against mine I found it hard to breath, not that I was complaining. I loved the way his hair was cool and silky against my face with his own face buried in my neck. As soon as I recovered from my shock I felt the need to touch more, hoping I would feel something else as wonderful as his raven hair. My hands wandered out behind him and gripped his back. One hand went down to just above his pants and the other up, towards his strong shoulders.

"Vincent…" I'm not sure why I said his name exactly, it could've been that I wanted him to respond, or that I wanted to make sure that's who I was really hugging, or so many other things. But as soon as it left my lips I regretted it, even if only for a moment, because he pulled away. I heard a whimper and almost cried when I realized it was my own. Vincent looked so hurt, it seems he thought I said his name because I was afraid of his touch. My mouth wouldn't cooperate with me and I spoke nothing against what I knew he was thinking, so he began to leave. And suddenly I regained my voice. "No!" I stumbled forward while yelling and reached out to grab his hand, and caught it easily.

"I-Vincent, I said your name…are you real?" I knew it sounded insane and I didn't care, the tears on my face were proof of that. "Are you really here? Did you really hug me? I hugged back but if it isn't real…Please Vincent, tell me. I like you…No! No! That's not true! I love you! I love you so much and tell me that you love me too. If you don't," by this time I was on my knees, hand still clasped firmly in Vincent's, my eyes locked on my lap, "if you don't I'm not sure I can do this. I love Toi so much but I can't do it. Not alone, I can try and so far it's okay but…later…days, months, years…I may not be enough. I love you, say you love me too."

My grip slackened and my hand fell to my lap, soon to be splashed by tears. I'm not sure how long I sat in that submissive position, the silence thundering in my ears, but eventually I felt fingers. They reached out to touch the bottom of my chin and nudged it upwards. I was faced with a beautiful face, Vincent's face. Next I felt lips against mine and I instantly responded. I was shocked out of my catatonic state and grabbed handfuls of Vincent's beautiful raven tresses. The kiss was heated and I couldn't help but cry more. I had become such a crybaby and I knew it. So many years I denied myself the option to just cry and it had come back with a vengeance. Vincent didn't seem to mind though. He just got on his knees in front of me and kept up with the kiss. He wanted to be submissive, probably Hojo's conditioning, but I wouldn't have it. I sucked his tongue into my mouth as invitation and waited for him to take control. He got the idea and I'm glad I gave him the opportunity.

Soon I felt light-headed but I was far from wanting the kiss to end, it did though. Our foreheads pressed together for a moment before I let my head slip to the crook of his shoulder. We were both breathing hard and my tears had stopped again. "I love you too." A strangled cry fought out of my throat and I pressed my body as much as I could against his. I was desperate for the touch, just to make sure he was real. And he was, I knew it as soon as I felt another pair of arms encircle me. Maybe it was moving too fast but I was a bit selfish I suppose. My lips set to work kissing and nipping at the skin if his neck as I nudged his cloak away with my nose. I felt him tense but I pushed onwards until I heard a sigh of content. I felt his flesh fingers rubbing my back in a circular motion, slowly moving down. Maybe I should've been concerned about Toi seeing us but I was blinded by my own needs.

Eventually I moved from his neck up his throat and stopping along the jaw. His lips parted and I took his bottom lip in my mouth, nibbling on it. That was about the time he pushed me away. I tried to maintain my grip on his lip but I took the hint eventually and let go. My eyes never left his and that's why I missed what happened next. He put one hand on my chin and one on my hip. I knew the hand on my hip to be his golden one and braced myself for pain when he held tighter, but it didn't come. I tilted my head as much as I could to see that his golden claw was just a gauntlet. He did have two human hands, the reason he never took off the gauntlet was apparent. The flesh was marred with scars that looked as if jagged glass had been pulled across his skin. I must've made Vincent self-conscious because he tried to pull his hand away from me. I quickly reached out and put it back on my hip. "You're beautiful."

To me it wasn't opinion, it was fact. He seemed to relax and squeezed my hip tightly before moving the scarred hand to my zipper. He was hesitant but I reassured him by lifting myself up to get more pressure. He took the hint and I lowered myself again, and resumed nipping at his tender neck. I bit down rather harshly on his jugular as he pulled my zipper down but licked it in apology as he stroked me. "Vincent…take off…clothes…" The way he was kneading led me to believe he spent many a night with his right hand but I quickly dismissed it, this was Vincent, he didn't seem the masturbating type.

His hands left me and I watched in awe and lust as he shed each piece of dark clothing. His skin was so pale it seemed to glow and the scars stood out shiny against it. There was also no hair in sight; he was as smooth as well…my hairless face. Once his pants slid down past his thighs I was faced with a half-hard cock surrounded with the darkest black hair I'd ever seen. Even though he was only half hard he was still rather large, well, very long anyways. I was large myself but more in the way of girth. My inner debates about my cock ended when he pulled me to stand and stripped me. I couldn't help but sway on my feet from the feeling. By now the ache between my legs was standing straight out and I felt embarrassed. My hands moved to cover myself, only to be moved away by Vincent. "You're beautiful too."

A blush crept onto my cheeks and I sat back down, legs bent and apart, hands behind me to hold me up. I found myself in this position many times while in Hojo's lab, it was an 'admiration pose' as Hojo liked to call it. Rightfully named, this position was so he could 'admire' all my assets. Vincent seemed to notice the position because he visibly flinched while I lowered my head and let my hair fall in front of my eyes. "Don't…you don't have to-"

"I want to." Next I shifted my weight so I could lean it all on my left hand and my right moved across my chest. I played with my nipples for a moment and smiled inwardly as Vincent knelt in front of me, now fully hard. My fingers trailed lightly downwards to my belly button and teased the skin there for a moment then slid down lower. I touched myself hesitantly, still afraid to look anywhere but Vincent's arousal. I could tell he was resisting the urge to touch himself though, and then I did smile. I only stroked myself long enough to relieve some pain before I moved lower. I had forgotten to lick my fingers previously and there wasn't enough semen leaking yet to use that so I went dry. I was rather use to that, Hojo preferred to see me in pain. I bite my lip as I worked my finger in, trying my best to ignore the burn. I was doing okay and went to add another finger when I felt Vincent pull my hand away. I hadn't noticed my eyes had closed until I opened them in worry.

I thought for sure I had done something wrong; Hojo was my only sexual experience. I didn't know it could go any other way. After all I was only sixteen when he got his hands on me and he had me for four years. "Let me Cloud." He pushed my shoulder and laid me flat on my back, legs still bent. I gulped and put my arm across my eyes. My blush was fierce and got, if possible, even brighter when I felt a tongue on my thigh. Vincent was licking his way to my erection without the slightest bit of hesitation. I yelped when I felt his tongue probe my slit. Hojo had never put his mouth there; it felt too wonderful for words. My hips bucked up on reflex and he had to restrain me. His mouth left my heated flesh too soon for my liking but I didn't stop him, sex with Vincent was a dream, who was I to argue?

His tongue returned again, moving downwards until finally he had to lift my legs onto his shoulders. I mewed as I felt that tongue work into my hole. Again, that was something Hojo never bothered with. If he used lube at all it was something hastily used or odd. I remember one time he used a potion, so he could go longer no doubt; it healed me almost as soon as Hojo tore me. All that was erased from my mind as a wet finger replaced the tongue. By now I was panting and he didn't look any better. "Vincent just…" I tore his hands away from my entrance and put mine on his ass.

"Are you sure?" I nodded and pulled him closer to me. He didn't object as I wrapped my legs around his waist and I didn't object as he entered me without slicking himself. He was long…I had almost forgotten how long he looked until I felt him in me. I groaned and dug my nails in his back once he was fully sheathed. Eventually my muscles relaxed and I bucked up, hinting for him to move.

The things that man could do with his body…I was the slightest bit worried we would wake Toi but he was a deep sleeper. His thrusts were deep and each one, whether by luck or on purpose, hit my prostate. By now the strength in my arms had gone and they were at my sides, fingers clawing at the carpet. We were both a sweaty panting mess but that didn't bother us in the slightest. My erection was an angry purple color, the only attention it received was when Vincent's stomach came down on my own, and his pace gave my arousal little relief. I didn't dare touch myself; Hojo didn't like me to when he was enjoying himself. After an orgasm I was sleepy, most people are, but Hojo wanted me to fight back, even if it was just a little.

I was always reduced to begging, and seeing as how Vincent's eyes were closed in pleasure I began begging once more. "Touch me…nggg…touch…me…" My new lover snapped out of his revere just a little and wrapped a pale hand on my heated flesh. I bit my lip so I wouldn't scream, I didn't want to Toi run down in a panic and see his father and a man he admired naked together. It didn't take long for me reach my peak. My seed burst out in arcs over Vincent's hand and our stomachs. He pushed into me a few more times before I felt his own seed coat my insides.

We rested for quite some time. The fingers of his scarred arm laced with mine while my other hand stroked his ebony tresses. We had yet to pull apart, we didn't see the need really. We were both tired, his weight wasn't enough to crush me, and for once I felt like I was whole…just because he was filling me up. After a peaceful bout of resting with him I noticed the now cold and sticky semen coating our intertwined fingers. As I looked at it I remembered that I had tried to masturbate for him, then I remembered that he was aware of what my pose had meant. So Vincent did masturbate albeit unwillingly at times but masturbate nonetheless. "You're good with your hands."

.o0()0o.

R&R 

**TBC**

Well that would be chapter 3. It's a little longer than the others but I figured my readers would like it and hate me if I cut the lemon in half so it stretched between 2 chapters.


	4. After the Storm

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: No I don't own Final Fantasy…if I did do you think I'd be writing fanfiction? No, I'd be writing novels.

Pairings: Vincent Cloud

I have no idea what to write here. I doubt you want to hear about me barfing at 4 am for no reason. My little brother's birthday was on the 6th of July…well that's it…I'm boring I know. Just enjoy the yaoi I guess. Oh and school starts for me again on the 7th of August.

.o0()0o.

When Vincent did pull himself away from me I felt a pang of disappointment. It was for the best though, there was still a chance Toi could wake up and find out about sex far too young. Now was an awkward time for me though. I had finally had sex with the man of my dreams, cried for him, confessed love to him, and cuddled with him. Didn't normal people sleep, in the literal sense, together after something like that? It was out of the question for me right now because my son was asleep in my bed. Thankfully, Vincent noticed the problem as well; he was still as collected as ever.

"I'll sleep in Toi's room tonight." I nodded and kept my eyes on the floor. I'm not sure what I was expecting us to do afterwards, Hojo had always just left me to cry and suffer, it was all I knew. I felt his fingers nudge at my chin but I refused to look up. I was still afraid. "Look at me…Cloud, look." I lifted my head and shut my eyes; after all I am the stubborn one. "Look at me Cloud." Drawing in a deep breath I let my eyes flutter open. Our eyes locked and I felt my fear slipping away. His eyes said everything, he didn't regret a thing, he looked…happy, yeah, happy.

"Okay…as long as you stay for breakfast." He nodded and led me by hand to my room. I opened the door but refused to lie down until he was safely in my son's room. That's when I made my way to the closet and changed into sweatpants. Vincent had grabbed our clothes and dumped mine in the hamper just moments before. He had cleaned me up as well. I made my way to the bed and nestled myself under the comforter, my son sensed the body heat I let off and worked his way closer, nuzzling his nose to my skin. Sleepy from my earlier pleasure, it didn't take long for me to join my son in a peaceful sleep.

o0()0o

The sun had just started streaming through the windows when I felt a small finger drawing circles on my belly. I smiled softly knowing Toi was as content as ever to just sit with me. I finally had it, a son, a lover…a home. As much as I loved living with Tifa and Marlene, then later Denzel, I had never thought of that place as home. More like the home of a good friend and I just slept over a lot. Tifa was always good to me but she wasn't what I wanted. I gave up on her after getting into SOLDIER despite what I had said previously. At least now she's moved on as well.

I wrapped my arms around Toi, startling him I'm sure, and rubbed my nose into his hair. It felt like another lazy morning, and after a night like that I wasn't expecting anything less. I laid there awake for a little while longer before we started out morning rituals. It seemed Vincent was still asleep. I never really saw him as a late sleeper but I guess no one ever noticed him until later in the day, when he finally ventured away from the shadows of the Highwind's many nooks and crannies.

"Vincent!" Toi got very excited to see that he was still here; he had just come out of the room. I guess he's not such a late sleeper after all. I wonder if he felt uncomfortable walking around my house after last night, or if he would've been that way anyways…or maybe I'm looking too far into it, maybe he woke up just now like we did.

Despite my ever-continuing slightly morbid musings, I was able to smile at the sight before me. Toi had leapt into my lover's arms and was trying to rub his nose against the skin of Vincent's neck; he was being thwarted by a mass of raven hair. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight they made. So this is what it was like to be happy with the simplest things. I reveled in this moment and tried to burn it beneath my lids for further reference. Who knows when I'll get something like this again. Perhaps I'm being too pessimistic but it's a hard habit to kick. For too long I've played the part of the morbid loner, its been engraved on my mind.

But I have a feeling that Toi and Vincent will be the people to wear away the inscription. With them I think I'll be worn clean. Not everything can be washed away and I understand that. But in this moment, in this moment while we're walking to the kitchen together as a family, I feel like everything will turn out all right. Perfection is not something I expect, quite the opposite, I oppose it, perfection just doesn't seem right to me. In that moment and the many that followed I was able to breathe without forcing myself. And each breath was a sign that I was moving on.

I moved on for Toi. I moved on for Vincent. I moved past the horrors created by Shinra and wore myself clean. My new inscription? I haven't decided, but I'm certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt that Toi and Vincent will the ones sewing the new message into my being.

Maybe one day I'll visit Hojo, wherever he may be. Hojo gave me so many things, things I never asked for, things I never wanted or thought I'd have a use for. What Hojo gave me overall though, the thing I really take notice of, was a lesson. Push on, push forward because past the pain, the grief, the hardship, there lies something else. What that may be depends on how far and how hard you push. I'd like to think I've pushed on past Hojo's expectations. What Hojo gave me will always be held close to my heart. The good and the bad, because if all you expect out of life is good then you're bound for disappointment, but if you brace yourself you're free to bask in the sun and feel the warmth of what comes your way after the storm.

.o0()0o.

Okay so that was the last chapter. I know its short but it means something right? Please tell me it was good. I just need to hear that its good. And I don't like doing sequels, I really don't. Not unless I'm inspired by myself and not by rabid reviews.

Review please, just so I know I did okay.

Yukiislikesnow


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